crazy mom....

 I know where the term Crazy MOM came from.... from Mom's like me who sometimes feel like they are loosing it.....
 Being a Mom is one of the hardest jobs out there and most important *if you ask me*
I found this by j bamhart4 on the internet and loved it!

A Mother's Resume

Are you qualified?

Are you a licensed chauffeur?

Yes. I can shuttle three kids to school, soccer practice, the dentist, and swing by Wal-mart to pick up a last minute birthday present and still make it home by 6pm to have dinner prepared.

* I don't know about you, but I feel like I am constantly filling my tank with gas because we are constantly running everywhere from school events to friend stuff....including church and dance.*

Are you a gourmet chef?

Yes. I can turn waffles into smiley faces and an ordinary hotdog into an octopus swimming in an ocean of baked beans. I can please even the most finicky of eaters with a box of Rice Krispies and a bag of marshmallows.

*when it comes to finger foods and sweet stuff, I GOT THIS... otherwise, people really don't request me to cook...I do not enjoy it, which is a huge problem being a Mom of 8*

Are you a skilled maid?

Yes. I can do laundry, dishes, vacuum, mop, dust, make beds, feed the dog, wash the windows, and scrub a toilet with the best of them.

*Yes, I CAN do these things, however, THESE ARE NOT MY FAVORITE PAST TIMES*

Are you a chemist?

Yes. I can tell if a child is sick by the color and density of his snot and tell you his entire daily diet from one poopy diaper.

*gotta love these Mommy skills!*

Do you have an eagle eye?

Yes. I can spot a smashed oreo in the rug and gum in a ponytail from 20 yards

*or dirty hand prints from someone who didn't wash after a messy meal, down to what kid it is :) My talent is just so amazing like that*

Are you a proficient janitor?

Yes. I can spot vomit before it hits the floor and get it cleaned up and disposed of before my toddler tracks it through the house while simultaneously controlling my gag reflex.

* It took me a long time to get that gag reflex under control but I did, DO I GET A TROPHY?*

Are you a nurse?

Yes. I always keep Scooby-Doo band-aids and peroxide on hand and always follow up with popsicles and hugs.

*just recently someone got a boo-boo in the car and thank heavens I had ONE bandaid in my purse, it was so funny to see my young daughter in awe of my purse, her response...."WHAT ELSE YA GOT IN THERE MOM?*

Are you a qualified technician?

Yes. I am an expert at removing peanut butter sandwiches from VCRs and crayons from noses.

*man there is a longer list than this.. hello?! Beads from noses and I won't mention the zillion others, you Mom's out there know what I am talking about!*

Are you a peace keeper?

Yes. I can hold back the rants of a hormone ridden teenager and negotiate a truce between two toddlers who both have their eye on the same Lego.

* I think this list is also forgetting THERAPIST... I have 6 daughters... and they LOVE TO TALK! and my first son was under the impression of his older siblings so he too is a talker...*

Are you an Engineer?

Yes. I can skillfully assemble a 5 foot dollhouse at 1 am on Christmas Eve without so much as a peep.

*ok I will admit, I can't really assemble things well... I just can't, not that good of a mom....but I do try so I get brownie points*

Are you a detective?

Yes. I can find a barbie shoe amidst a room full of toys and then proceed to find a ba ba, a paci, a blankie, and a beloved stuffed bear just by following a trail of cookie crumbs.

* I love this job... my kids are still wondering HOW DID I KNOW? (MAUHAHAHAHAHA EVIL LAUGH)*

Are you a coach?

Yes.  I can cheer on my son's baseball team and my toddlers potty training session with equal

enthusiasm.

* I am so great at cheering people on my friends and family call me to cheer them on, can you say over achiever here? I mean....  I know how to get excited over the littlest things... people love that* (I think this is the start of loosing your brain, if you are experiencing this... you might want to see someone and get help... just saying)

Are you a teacher?

Yes.  I taught my children how to share and the correct way to wipe...front to back.  I help my daughter with fractions and my taught my son how to kick a goal.  I can teach it all.

*well I try to teach all but I have one child who would not learn from me... just refused and its been that way ever since... born that way I guess, where is the parent hand book on that one? *

Are you a human pack mule?

Yes.  I can carry 5 bags of groceries, 1 toddler, my purse, a blankie and sippy cup, check the mail, and open the front door with no more than my pinkie finger.

*There was a day I carried all this and two babies in my arms.. YES please address me as SUPER WOMAN!*

Are you a bilingual translator?

Yes.  I can decipher the babblings of any 1 year old.  I can also figure out who hit who and with what by listening to my daughters crying.

* I have even learned the new lingo of my three youngest adopted children.. which I must say is impressive because the speech therapist who was trained in this area couldn't figure some things they said out (that is right, I ROCK!)*

Can you multi-task?

Yes!  I can make dinner, help my son with his homework, feed the cat, change a diaper, make a bottle, kill that spider...eww, fold a load of laundry, bake cookies, clean up spilled milk from dunking the cookies, give the kids a bath, read a bedtime story, and put them to bed with more grace than Anna Pavlova of the Russian Ballet.

*I multi task so well that I find myself talking to myself because I don't have time to have real friends (this is how I feel sometimes)*

This morning I woke up to have my 20 minutes of peace before the day started and someone must of decided that I didn't need it today because down came three little people very early.  And now you know why I feel crazy... because my day started with HELLO, LETS DO THIS, before I could open my eyes....  I love being a MOM, I just love my 20 minutes of peace too...