Obedience....

 My husband and I have been asked to team teach on the 29th of this month...  on several topics creamed into one.... Obedience, reading the Book of Mormon and our adoption journey.

 WOW! what a compliment and at the same time.... "ARE THEY SURE THEY WANT US?" 

SO for the past two weeks I have been really focusing on preparing for this lesson.  I have looked up many great talks given by leaders in the church, I have asked for input from special friends I really feel live by these principles and I have done a lot of scriptures reading and praying.  I thought if I put all my thoughts down here, maybe it would help me better prepare? Hopefully to be able to give a half way .. .ok.... decent lesson?  

  so I started making a list of things we are required to obey....
1. the ten commandments
2. paying tithing/ fast offerings
3. living the word of wisdom
4.going to church
5. preparing and going on a mission
6. visit teaching/ home teaching
7.Family Home Evening
8. Going to the temple
9. reading our scriptures
10. Prayer... aka personal, couple and family prayers
11. Keeping and making covenants
12. being Christ like
13. serving others
14. being good parents
15. doing any calling asked of you with in the church
16. following the counsel of the prophets
17.obeying our parents
That was all I could come up with. I am going to ask everyone what they think of and see if we come up with the same things.

Looking at that list may seem overwhelming.  Might seem like too much to ask of a person.  But to me, I think obedience is the key to everything.  It is right up there with the principles of hope and faith.  Many who are not living according to the basic principles of church, who are not members or who are struggling to obey,  might feel that its constricting or limiting their living, like a ball or chain around their neck. Restricting their Freedom... but the truth is... that is what Satan wants us to believe. Loosing your freedom happens when you do not live in obedience to the Lords will.  

WHAT DRIVES US TO BE OBEDIENT?
                                    1. we obey out of  *fear* (one of Satan's tools)
                                   as a child its getting in trouble if we do not obey, as an adult it can be trouble at work or some people are driven to do things out of fear of not making it into HEAVEN, and then there is fear of disappointing people.
                                    2. We obey because we become owners of it.. we become responsible to obey. Its not that you are fearful if you don't... its just a HAVE to be done thing... like dishes, you have to do them to have something to eat on.... its not really something you want to do...its just something you have to do,  so you do it.
                                     3. You want to..... You love the person *Heavenly Father* and you really desire to make him happy.  You desire to serve him. It is truly apart of your physical and spiritual being to do these things and find great joy and peace in doing so.

You could view these different attitudes of obedience as paths to the three different kingdoms.  Personally, I can see myself in all three different attitudes, depending on the day and the task at hand.  But I think its important to ask ourselves ... where are we with our attitude and where do we want to be.  I know where I WANT to be.... but I am still working on it.

Obedience is an attitude. A choice.

Lets look at some of the people in the scriptures and their example of their attitudes. Where do they fit on our scale or number system up above?
   
When I think of obedience and people in the scriptures  and in life, several come to mind....

 Nephi, son of Lehi, was faithful and obedient to God. When given the difficult assignment to obtain the plates of brass from Laban, he did not murmur but declared, “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.

 

Then there is the beautiful account from the Holy Bible of Abraham and Issac. How extremely difficult it must of been for Abraham to be obedient to God and be willing to take his son's life as an offering.  He immediately turned and prepared right away with no hesitation. I can not imagine how heavy hearted he must of felt as he prepared the wood for fire. I get very emotional just thinking about it and I am thankful for his example. * I am also very thankful he did not have to go through with it!*

There are many obedient servants of the Lord in the scriptures we can pattern our lives after. But

lets not forget  Joseph Smith, how he faced opposition at nearly every step of the way and yet he was always guided by the hand of the Lord and he was obedient to the end.

There are many examples in the scriptures... think of your favorite story and that persons example to you in obedience.

 WHY WERE WE GIVEN SUCH AMAZING EXAMPLES TO FOLLOW?  How do we liken these amazing acts of obedience to our lives? That is the question I am searching out... and YES I am sure it helped that most of these great examples in the scriptures had visitations from angels or heard the Lords voice... *I am sure those experiences might be more convincing to a person to obey, but then again Lamen and Lamuel struggled with obedience and they did see angels. *  Just something to think about.

  I think we are challenged in different ways than the people from scriptural times or even 60 years ago.  WE have a constant noise happening in our lives. From the TV, to media players, cell phones,  computers ... even our little children who bicker with each other or are constantly asking WHY... our schedules are crazy busy from the time we wake up to the time we go to bed. From our jobs to our homes, church callings and friends.  Finding time to meditate or do the simplest things like prayer and scripture study can seem impossible.  Back in the day of Joseph Smith...  I don't think he had an option for meditating.... it was a given.. plenty of quiet time to meditate and easier found places to do so.

I was given the privilege of testing this theory of living obediently out "By ACCIDENT" but it was needed to be able to completely testify of what I know to be true, for myself and to others. One night our family seemed, "TOO BUSY" to do the family scripture study and prayer. My husband and I were wiped. Our day felt long and exhausting and all we wanted was to have everyone go to bed and relax. So we hurried the children up to bed, which backfired... they were upset we didn't do scriptures or prayer. They wanted to but we told them... TOMORROW WE WILL.... They did not go down so easily either. They were up and down for the longest time... they struggled to go to sleep... and so on and so forth... we were frustrated..... our feelings went from tired to frustrated to angry in seconds. The spirit of the Lord was NOT with us for sure... and that feeling went on from that night to the next day. I realized the next day after our day started off on the wrong foot because of  the previous evening. Our children woke up arguing with one another and in horrible moods... before school.. LOVE THOSE MORNINGS.. NOT!!!!! We say our morning prayer and went on our way.. still fighting in the back of the car... so I pulled over and we said another prayer.... things were a little better but it sure told me that not doing ONE NIGHT.. .JUST ONE NIGHT made a huge difference in my children, how they felt, treated each other and even my mood.    

People are not perfect and God doesn't expect us to be perfect he just expects us to try and to do our best.

I can't tell you how many times I have to tell my children day after day.... things like... if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all....  THIS CAN TAKE YEARS till they GET IT... but we continue to try... daily...
I think Heavenly Father is the same way with our obedience list... IT CAN TAKE US A LIFETIME to get it, to do it and to live it. But as long as we are continually striving, that is what counts.


When we live by obedience we can hear the spirit of the Lord whisper to us... we can be directed and guided in our lives.. and no matter how odd of a request or crazy a prompting we may get, we need to be willing to just act upon it and do it.
I am sure Joshua didn't get how blowing his horn while marching around the wall seven times was going to make the walls come  down but the Lord said to do it and he obeyed.. .and the walls CAME A TUMBLING DOWN! :)

We have always known that we were going to adopt a child, since Todd and I dated... but we started to feel the promptings of the Lord that it was time to adopt, three years ago.
So we had a family meeting.... we were about to start the adoption process. We discussed with our children how important it was to be obedient and even more so obedient than ever before... that we felt we needed to live as worthily as possible in order to receive the blessings through the journey we were about to venture. All the children agreed and we all promised to help each other stay on the straight and narrow.  It wasn't easy at first. There were principles that we struggled  to live by ... We hadn't done family home evening with exactness. We had tried but we didn't strive as we should of. We didn't do family prayer as much too. And our new goals were to go to the temple weekly.   ALL THOSE THINGS BECAME APART OF OUR LIVES SO FAST! As each of us strived to support each other in these efforts. *WE WERE ALL ON BOARD WITH THIS* it was amazing to see blessings and to feel the spirit in our home.  Three years ago, that family meeting made our life complete before we ever receive our children through adoption. We had been living with out blessings that we did need. Without the spirit so close and in our home. Doing those three simple things, made our marriage stronger, our children closer and our lives more joyful!

Through out our wait in our adoption journey *waiting to be chosen* we were blessed with feelings of... there was more than one child... and things seemed to open our minds and hearts to other possibilities... all that led us to adopting through the state foster care system instead of the agency we were with.   Through living obediently, we were able to hear the Holy Ghost tell us things like, "Don't buy anything to prepare for the children." That one was hard... I wanted to prepare...set up and honestly we didn't have it financially. With not knowing as well what you would end up with... BOY/GIRL... infant.. toddler... child... I didn't feel ok about spending money we didn't have in the first place but worried how would we get what we needed for the child/children we receive. I would always feel a great peace after praying and giving it to my Heavenly Father... and when the children came.... I got on my knees and told Heavenly Father my concerns. We had already spent our monthly budget with food and had nothing extra for more food or things the children needed. The day after that prayer a friend, who was strongly prompted to help us, came with about $300.00 dollars worth of food. She told us she felt she needed to do this and had extra this month. I was very thankful and emotional for that answered prayer. We didn't have toys.. and I had mentioned that in my prayer.. and again... people that knew us from all over had things and brought them by without me even asking. Giving me toys and clothes that were much needed for the children. I had so much to be thankful for. Heavenly Father heard my prayers... answered them and the people who blessed us heard the promptings of the Holy Ghost.I am thankful for those people living in a way that they too could hear and act upon the promptings of the Holy Ghost! So thankful!

   Living in obedience to the things we knew we should, blessed us as a family. Our children recognized the many blessings as well and today our testimony has only grown stronger because of it all.

 We need to continue to live in obedience to the best of our abilities. I believe that times are getting harder, the world is getting more evil and corrupt. If we are living obediently to the best of our abilities we will be safe and protected. We will be able to hear the promptings of the holy ghost guiding us and our children in our daily lives. There is no better protection than that!

Just a Mom... not a miracle worker...

 Today... I am just a Mom.... someone who gave birth and adopted 8 kids. Some one who said, YEP, I will be there for the snotty noses, throwing ups, fevers and chills. I will be there for the heart breaks, and the joys. I will be there to teach them right from wrong and have patience with the tantrums.
  But today, I feel drained. Like... I have no answers! Where is my manual?!! *seriously... I am serious here... where is it????*

  From a teenager who is trying to find herself.... to realizing SPRING TIME something must of happened to the youngest three... because this has been a month of little sleep... of night mares, of acting out, of angry and not sure why moments and of melt downs.    Today.... I just don't know what else to do to make it all right... and maybe that is the big picture. I can't make it all right. I can only do what I can and hope its good enough.  I can't help my teenager.... I have given her all the great advice, love and support possible... but SHE has to find her way and figure it out for herself.

I can't fix what I have no clue is wrong with my three little ones...what they are feeling. I am sure they don't even understand. I am guessing this is when bio mom left them in the night... and didn't come back. Who knows maybe its worse..... *you wonder... what could be worse than being abandoned and left to fend for yourself*  who knows, but I know that my arms around them, them crawling in bed with me at night and me staying calm while they are raging or screaming... helps. 

But I am drained. Today I just want to cry... because... I CAN'T FIX IT ALL! I can't help them. I feel lost on even how.... I keep praying for direction and help, but I know the answer I keep feeling is.... time.... they have to go through this.... and it is so hard watching them go through this!!!!! It breaks my heart! 

With my son who has been traumatized the most, I wonder... will I be able to help him? Can I really endure all that I am about to go through with him? *envisioning some stuff here*  The UNKNOWN really scares me.  I don't want to make mistakes or screw these kids up more. 
 

    So I felt the need to share my emotions.... I have so many thoughts running through my head. I need to just get on my knees and feel my Heavenly Fathers arms around me telling me to continue on... that I am doing well..because right now,  I question it...  I am trying... I really am...  but I wish I was a miracle worker! REALLY WISH FOR THAT SUPER POWER RIGHT ABOUT NOW!

crazy mom....

 I know where the term Crazy MOM came from.... from Mom's like me who sometimes feel like they are loosing it.....
 Being a Mom is one of the hardest jobs out there and most important *if you ask me*
I found this by j bamhart4 on the internet and loved it!

A Mother's Resume

Are you qualified?

Are you a licensed chauffeur?

Yes. I can shuttle three kids to school, soccer practice, the dentist, and swing by Wal-mart to pick up a last minute birthday present and still make it home by 6pm to have dinner prepared.

* I don't know about you, but I feel like I am constantly filling my tank with gas because we are constantly running everywhere from school events to friend stuff....including church and dance.*

Are you a gourmet chef?

Yes. I can turn waffles into smiley faces and an ordinary hotdog into an octopus swimming in an ocean of baked beans. I can please even the most finicky of eaters with a box of Rice Krispies and a bag of marshmallows.

*when it comes to finger foods and sweet stuff, I GOT THIS... otherwise, people really don't request me to cook...I do not enjoy it, which is a huge problem being a Mom of 8*

Are you a skilled maid?

Yes. I can do laundry, dishes, vacuum, mop, dust, make beds, feed the dog, wash the windows, and scrub a toilet with the best of them.

*Yes, I CAN do these things, however, THESE ARE NOT MY FAVORITE PAST TIMES*

Are you a chemist?

Yes. I can tell if a child is sick by the color and density of his snot and tell you his entire daily diet from one poopy diaper.

*gotta love these Mommy skills!*

Do you have an eagle eye?

Yes. I can spot a smashed oreo in the rug and gum in a ponytail from 20 yards

*or dirty hand prints from someone who didn't wash after a messy meal, down to what kid it is :) My talent is just so amazing like that*

Are you a proficient janitor?

Yes. I can spot vomit before it hits the floor and get it cleaned up and disposed of before my toddler tracks it through the house while simultaneously controlling my gag reflex.

* It took me a long time to get that gag reflex under control but I did, DO I GET A TROPHY?*

Are you a nurse?

Yes. I always keep Scooby-Doo band-aids and peroxide on hand and always follow up with popsicles and hugs.

*just recently someone got a boo-boo in the car and thank heavens I had ONE bandaid in my purse, it was so funny to see my young daughter in awe of my purse, her response...."WHAT ELSE YA GOT IN THERE MOM?*

Are you a qualified technician?

Yes. I am an expert at removing peanut butter sandwiches from VCRs and crayons from noses.

*man there is a longer list than this.. hello?! Beads from noses and I won't mention the zillion others, you Mom's out there know what I am talking about!*

Are you a peace keeper?

Yes. I can hold back the rants of a hormone ridden teenager and negotiate a truce between two toddlers who both have their eye on the same Lego.

* I think this list is also forgetting THERAPIST... I have 6 daughters... and they LOVE TO TALK! and my first son was under the impression of his older siblings so he too is a talker...*

Are you an Engineer?

Yes. I can skillfully assemble a 5 foot dollhouse at 1 am on Christmas Eve without so much as a peep.

*ok I will admit, I can't really assemble things well... I just can't, not that good of a mom....but I do try so I get brownie points*

Are you a detective?

Yes. I can find a barbie shoe amidst a room full of toys and then proceed to find a ba ba, a paci, a blankie, and a beloved stuffed bear just by following a trail of cookie crumbs.

* I love this job... my kids are still wondering HOW DID I KNOW? (MAUHAHAHAHAHA EVIL LAUGH)*

Are you a coach?

Yes.  I can cheer on my son's baseball team and my toddlers potty training session with equal

enthusiasm.

* I am so great at cheering people on my friends and family call me to cheer them on, can you say over achiever here? I mean....  I know how to get excited over the littlest things... people love that* (I think this is the start of loosing your brain, if you are experiencing this... you might want to see someone and get help... just saying)

Are you a teacher?

Yes.  I taught my children how to share and the correct way to wipe...front to back.  I help my daughter with fractions and my taught my son how to kick a goal.  I can teach it all.

*well I try to teach all but I have one child who would not learn from me... just refused and its been that way ever since... born that way I guess, where is the parent hand book on that one? *

Are you a human pack mule?

Yes.  I can carry 5 bags of groceries, 1 toddler, my purse, a blankie and sippy cup, check the mail, and open the front door with no more than my pinkie finger.

*There was a day I carried all this and two babies in my arms.. YES please address me as SUPER WOMAN!*

Are you a bilingual translator?

Yes.  I can decipher the babblings of any 1 year old.  I can also figure out who hit who and with what by listening to my daughters crying.

* I have even learned the new lingo of my three youngest adopted children.. which I must say is impressive because the speech therapist who was trained in this area couldn't figure some things they said out (that is right, I ROCK!)*

Can you multi-task?

Yes!  I can make dinner, help my son with his homework, feed the cat, change a diaper, make a bottle, kill that spider...eww, fold a load of laundry, bake cookies, clean up spilled milk from dunking the cookies, give the kids a bath, read a bedtime story, and put them to bed with more grace than Anna Pavlova of the Russian Ballet.

*I multi task so well that I find myself talking to myself because I don't have time to have real friends (this is how I feel sometimes)*

This morning I woke up to have my 20 minutes of peace before the day started and someone must of decided that I didn't need it today because down came three little people very early.  And now you know why I feel crazy... because my day started with HELLO, LETS DO THIS, before I could open my eyes....  I love being a MOM, I just love my 20 minutes of peace too...

Many new stages of life.....

      I am in an interesting stage in life.  I am an "old" married woman of 22 years this June. *that is a long time to be married in today's world *  I have a daughter who is married in college, I have a daughter is graduating high school this year, I am a mother with teen daughters at home and soon to be a pre-teen son. I am a mother of three little children, two of those are going to Kindergarten and that will make me a stay at home mother with ONE? child again.  TO ME THAT IS A VERY INTERESTING PLACE TO BE.

    WHY? you may ask?  I will tell you why.... I have five children all at school for years and this last year, everything happened so fast. In November 2011 I married off one daughter *who I was still trying to get use to having at college* and I adopted three little children. 

   I have had people ask me why. "WHY DID YOU START ALL OVER?"  I have heard statements like.... "YOU WERE ALMOST FREE "  FREE??????????? *I NEVER DID GET THAT ONE*  Free of what? A mother is a mother for forever. FREE OF KIDS? ... Um if I wanted to be free of kids do you think I would of had five? LOL 

   I will admit, I found myself forgetting some parenting techniques which  took trial and error to be reminded of what I use to do. I even went so far as to ask for advice from younger mothers who have little ones now.

   But here I am... a mother of a married daughter. THAT IS A HARD STAGE FOR ME!!!! I thought college was hard? WHATEVER!!!!!!!! I am having to hold my tongue A LOT! Its hard. I am use to be the one in control of everything and how things are gonna go down. The ORGANIZER and the ADVICE giver. But... wow I have had to learn to KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT unless asked for my advice. *now I must add, my daughter is amazing, she has never said anything to make me feel this way... I have just realized in this part of my life journey stage... that I have to let her now be the adult I raised her to be and make her own decisions*

    Another stage I am in * that I have never ventured before* is being a mother of a daughter who is about to graduate and live at home.  She is now an adult and her plans are to go to a local college but stay at home.   I AM THRILLED ABOUT THAT!!!!!!!!! I will still have her around.. But this stage, will be about me letting her make her own decisions and hoping she will ask for my advice or listen if I give it.  I will add, I am nervous I might mess something up!

   I have my first son becoming a PRE-TEEN...  He is changing so much so fast and I am sorry... YES!!!! IT IS VERY DIFFERENT THAN GIRLS! and seeing how I am NOT A BOY and I have NEVER had one before, I am lost. I think I need to find some book with a manual out there that can teach me what to expect.  I am nervous. He is so cute and already a ladies man!  I am telling you, you know Fathers are wanting to be at the front door with a gun for their daughters... I WANT TO TO BECOME HIS BODY GUARD and ward off all the girls by being a weird MOM or something ... anything to scare them off.... *ANY TIPS WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED! *

 Then  I have these two little angels who are going to go to Kindergarten. One is repeating it...but that is OK, we are calling it PRE-FIRST and one is starting Kindergartner for the first time...  Now, I am not sure what to expect there. Will the first one get emotionally upset because the younger sibling is in his class? Will he feel stupid? WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN? Where is that CRYSTAL BALL when you need one??? Will they continue to go on together till graduation in the same grade and be OK with that???? or will my daughter end up repeating as well? *because there is so much to teach them and catch them up on*  I can't stand the UNKNOWN!!!!! I AM A PLANNER!!!!

 While all of that is going on, I have little miss Shaker and Mover home with me.... *we are gonna have fun!* seriously... I am not worried there except she might get bored from time to time...but what child doesn't who wants to be in school with their siblings!

My two teen daughters... I got this! Because of my two older daughters... I feel I have parenting teen daughters down! These girls are doing all the normal stuff teens do... boys... and busy.... friends and sleep overs... you name it!  They are actually at a fun age! :) Not too serious yet about boys but think they are cute... and not too young to do girlie fun stuff teens love to do, like make overs and such. 

 When people see me they don't know what to think... 22 years of marriage? WOW! The comments are great! :) its a great accomplishment! To love someone and to be dedicated to them for this long with plans of FOREVER :) yep I am proud of that one...

People that meet up with me and hear I have 8 kids crack me up too. The comments range from YOU HAVE HOW MANY????? to THANK YOU? which is always uncomfortable to me... and GOD BLESS YOU. To comments like... 5 wasn't enough? ARE YOU CRAZY?

  I think I can answer that last question. YEP I AM CRAZY! I HAVE A CRAZY GREAT LIFE! I wouldn't trade it in for the world :) I will be a young GRANDMA and one day an OLD MOM! LOL!  I will have the best of all the stages in life.. some simultaneously *that wasn't really planned* but I am going with the punches :) 

 I just have moments where I think about all of this and I am like... wow.. I am really in an interesting place in my life... so many different stages all at once but I am thankful for them!!!!!! EVERY ONE OF THEM! :) I wouldn't have it any other way! :)

Proud Mommy....

 I need to take a moment and tell the WORLD, how incredibly grateful I am for my first five children.  I have to say, I don't know many children who already live with a lot of other siblings, where money is already tight, things are sacrificed already so that their MOM can stay home to raise them *things like dance class, hobbies, lessons, clubs... you know things most kids want to be apart of*  where handi-me-downs are an exciting thing or from someone else.... I don't know many children who would say, "MOM AND DAD, YES! LETS ADOPT ANOTHER CHILD!"  One more person to share Mom and Dad's attention.


BUT MINE DID! Not only to ONE MORE CHILD... but THREE, very needy, very sick *at first*, very traumatized and I dare say out of control children, that needed a home and love. MINE DID!!!! My amazing five children said, " YES! " they could not see us turning them away. *as we couldn't either*

My children did not just say YES, they have been a HUGE help in healing these children. They are great role models for the younger three. They help me keep them busy into good activities... they help me all the time and any time without any complaint! I am so thankful that they have such love in their heart and are so welcoming to these three, that they TRULY CLAIM as their LITTLE BROTHER AND SISTERS! :) Its such a beautiful thing to witness.

These three children came to us emotionally behind a couple years, my son is ADHD *severe*, all three have post traumatic syndrome, they had the start of reactive detachment disorder, they had anger/fear/sadness in them to work through, they have fine motor skill issues, language issues, speech issues.  The list of trauma and things they experienced were unthinkable....

Through a lot of patience on all our parts, love and therapies, they have come so far, changed so much and truly do fit and belong with us :) They have HEALED :) Their therapist says its a miracle and they do not need to see her anymore. :) SO THANKFUL FOR THAT!!! I still see healing and changing every day.... :) again ... such a blessing to see and witness.

I could of never done this on my own. People ask me all the time,"  HOW DO YOU DO IT? " my answer is always the same.... "IT HAS TAKEN ALL OF US"
One year ago... these three little children came into our home and hearts.... and today... they are different... they are happy, they are loved, fed, nurtured and they feel SAFE!
 I have always wanted them. *the last three children we adopted* I have always known they were missing... and my first five children tell me all the time that....    THEY KNEW TOO! :)
Now we are complete!

Love and Appreciation

 I woke up today to a sweet love letter from one of my children. No one has confessed to it, but I have an idea.  I love these little love letters. They encourage me on days when I feel like I am not doing enough as a Mom, they tell me I must be doing something right.....

  or love notes like these.....

 

If you can't tell that says, "Sunshine, Good Morning, I love Ya!"

Sunshine is my nick name from my husband :)  We often write love notes to each other on our bathroom mirrors.


APPRECIATION is one of those things I strive to teach my family and what comes naturally to me to do. To help better teach this to my children we have a service star....

Each child gets a turn taking this star and doing a service project for their siblings.  From doing their chore for the day or making their bed. They have had lots of fun and gotten creative, one time my daughter decorated her sisters bedroom and wrote big love letters on poster saying, "I LOVE YOU! YOUR THE BEST SISTER"  The surprise and happiness that little act did to my other daughter was wonderful!

Everyone needs to hear thank you, your special or I love you once in a while... EVERYONE! I have really been thinking about this lately because it seems everywhere I go, people are so unhappy today. People are really bogged down from work or other responsibilities that must over whelm them. I have seen in it the local grocery to store to people in my church. 

So I thought I would do an experiment... I  am going to challenge my family at our next Family Home Evening to do something good for a random stranger or friend for a whole week and to report back their experience.  I am going to do the same. It can be from thanking someone for their hard work, or complimenting them. I want to get really creative. I want to find a group of men working somewhere and offer them HOT CHOCOLATE! *a colder day would be good*  Or maybe as a family we should make some yummy treats and go thank our local firemen or police officers.  WHO DOESN'T APPRECIATE SOMEONE APPRECIATING YOU! :)

Its just something I want to work on in our family... spreading our love :)  I am thankful for such amazing and loving people in my life! I am going to also extend this challenge into doing something more for them as well. Not sure what yet...but something.

There just aren't enough people smiling in the world!

I've Fallen...

 Had an embarrassing experience this last Sunday at church.... I bought these fantastic high heels for Easter... and I have this horribly large, heavy bag full of things to help keep the kiddo's quiet during sacrament.  I was getting up in Relief Society, on these fabulous heels, I threw my huge bag up on my shoulder and that was enough to completely throw me down on the floor. FEET OUT IN FRONT OF ME AND ALL! CRASH! BUMP! *Everyone GASPING* ARE YOU OK? ... my response, "I AM FINE , THANKS." *thinking* Just hurt my pride.

I was thinking about how have I fallen spiritually in the past.... and maybe even a little embarrassed to admit that I had fallen in such a way....

I have been lazy in the past or had fallen in my daily scripture reading...
I have been guilty of falling off the family prayer wagon....
I have been guilty of falling off the family home evening wagon...
I have been guilty of falling off the going to church wagon
Fallen off the list of being visit taught and visit teaching wagon...
I have been guilty in falling off the friend wagon too... times where I just didn't want to talk to anyone *probably depressed*

I am thankful I haven't fallen off any more wagons *things I should have been doing* in life than those listed.

But falling or having fallen doesn't make it so we can't get back up and try again. That's what TOMORROW is all about.... :) Its a new day, fresh start... a way to pick ourselves up and line up our lives in the order we need it to be to find great joy and happiness.

Those things I listed would of greatly embarrassed me if someone had found out at church. People  who I felt had it together or did it all right. *better than me, anyway.... we all compare ourselves to others.*

We are human... and I will be honest. I have not been perfect in all the things I should have done... but I have always continued to try and stand back up.

I think I have heard one too many times from others, its too hard to do it all... I don't have time to do these things.... I can't do everything.... I can't keep up as it is..
So many different reasons why to NOT do these things.... so many excuses.
Its easy to be of the world and use an excuse to get out of doing it.

I think the best thing I ever did for myself was examine who I associated with and was friends with.
The same goes for our kids ... if they have friends who do drugs, chances are they will do drugs... if they have good church going friends, then chances are they will go to church and be good.

So I dismissed people in my life who were not examples of who I wanted to be... people who wouldn't help me stand up and try again... people who would hold me down or push me back. That made a huge difference immediately.

I incorporated one thing at a time back into my life... I wasn't perfect at doing it...but I strived to do it to my best ability.

Isaiah 28:13

" But the word of the Lord was unto them precept upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little;"

 I believe that means one thing at a time.... 

Mosiah 4:27

 "And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order"

Its like anything in life... be careful to not over do it... or we will fall again... crash and burn out. 

 I try to evaluate my life often and see if I have things in the priority that I should. I do find from time to time, I fall and slip back into old habits. I fall and get caught up in a list of things to do that are not as important to me as the list above should be. I  think we are allowed to slip and fall, but no matter how many times we might fall, we should always just get back up.

Remember Who You Are...

   Growing up, we were often reminded by my father to remember who we are.  For the longest time I really didn't understand what that meant. I would go through this check list in my head of what I thought it was, thinking... why does he tell us this?  My check list was something like this...
 1. I am a girl
 2. I am Karine, *I would question... does he really think I would forget that?*

   Then later in my early teens when I was able to start making decisions for myself, he explained a little more to me.... REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE... it means, you carry my name.... what you do doesn't just affect you... it affects all of us.

    WHOA! That put a little pressure on me. At first I didn't get it. *How could it affect everyone? Especially if I am the one doing it?* But as time went on and I made mistakes, as we all do, I started to see how some of the things I did brought great disappointment to my parents. Some mistakes I made brought attention to our family and made my parents have to face the things I did, by being responsible parents.
     As  I became a little older, all I wanted to do was to please my parents and make them proud of me. I could see that making good decisions not only did that but I felt good and happy too.

    Now I am a parent of 8 amazing people. Who I have taught this same principle to. *am still teaching too* It is different being on the other side though... where when my children have chosen wrong I have to be the one to stand there and say....I understand they made a mistake... yes I am deeply disappointed in them, however, I know they will learn from this and still become a great person. *it amazes me how much I am prepared to stand up for my children, stand by them, hold their hand even, and still love them unconditionally. To still have that great FAITH in who they are and who they will become*

    Being a grown up *at least that is what others tell me I am * and having made the gospel a very big part of my life. I can see where spiritually all of this could be applied.

    REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE... *spiritually has a whole new look* 
Who are you? I have thought about this for a while... who I am and what that looks like now. Here is my new list.
     1. I am a daughter of a King.
     2. I am of great worth to the Lord
     3. I was made in his image and with great abilities... the things I can do is endless and all possible
     4. I am a person of Faith *where there is fear... faith can not be ... I choose Faith*
     5. I am a Mother of precious children who are also children of my Heavenly Father... He has entrusted me with them.
     6. I am a person of Integrity
     7. I am a person of values and principles
     8. I am a SERVANT! I must choose to serve others *they are my brothers and sisters*
     9. I am a SERVANT of the Lord.... * I choose to do whatever he would ask of me*
     10. I am a loyal person, not only to my friends and family but to my Savior, Jesus Christ.
     11. I am a GOOD person with many talents *some I don't know yet, even at the age of 40 but this is what life is all about... trying new things and finding them*
     12. I am an Heir to Eternity
     13. I have a personal relationship with my Heavenly Father *through prayer and through scriptures*
     14. I am an example to others, a leader *when we think no one is looking, they are, we might not even know we are an example of so different things in our lives that we choose*
     15. I am strong and I know this because when I feel weak I have the faith to go on because through Christ everything is possible.
    16. I am a person with a spirit inside that needs to be continually fed as my body is
    17. I am a Daddy's girl.
    18. I am a daughter, wife, mother, sister and friend.
    19. I am beautiful. *GOD DON'T MAKE NO JUNK*
    20. I am loving and kind
    21. I am smart and have the ability to learn a great deal
    22. I am a member of the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints
    23. I have a forever family and forever marriage
    24. I have a testimony and its very much a part of who I am.
    25. I have a light within myself that I try to shine *thinking positive, being Christ-like*
   

Oh this list could go on... and to say good things to ourselves is NOT vein. Heavenly Father, even our earthly Fathers and Mothers want us to feel good about ourselves. There is nothing wrong with LIKING YOURSELF! In fact ... its a must if we are to be able to help others or to become true followers of Christ.  How can we be  nothing or be ugly? How can we be stupid or not of worth? WE CAME FROM OUR HEAVENLY FATHER and HE IS AMAZING! We are his LITERAL children. 

When we take the time to think about who we are, it helps us to remember we want to always be doing the things that would be pleasing to our Heavenly Father. When we choose to live righteously and do good things, we will be greatly blessed. We will be able to see and recognize the HAND OF GOD in our lives. We will feel more in tune to the Holy Ghost, who will guide us and help lead us to the paths that will bring us only Eternal peace and happiness! I testify to these things. I  know that how we choose to live and how we choose to REMEMBER WHO WE ARE, will reflect in our lives to those around us. To be able to feel such a pure spirit, as in Jesus Christ, we must be able to feel good about ourselves and know that WE ARE OF GREAT WORTH to HIM because he DIED for us~! HE suffered greatly for all of us to be able to return and be with him. He needs us to remember that and to REMEMBER WHO WE ARE!
    

    HE is prepared to stand up for us, to stand by us, to hold our hands and to still love us unconditionally. He is the ONE we represent. What we do does affect Him....but I know that when we do stumble and make mistakes, HE is right there, ready to say... I understand she made a mistake... yes I am deeply disappointed in her, however, I know she will learn from this and still become a great person

Feed your enemies...

     The statement "FEED YOUR ENEMIES" is an interesting statement. One I never thought of before in this light.  What comes to my mind when I hear that statement *which I heard for the first time this last weekend during conference*  is be humble,  be kind, endure to the end, love thy neighbor, forgive them, pray for them and let it go.  All those statements can be really hard to do while being taunted or hurt by our "ENEMIES." I don't know about you, but enemies seems too harsh of a word to me.

en·e·my   /ˈɛnəmi/ Show Spelled [en-uh-mee] Show IPA noun, plural -mies, adjective

noun

1. a person who feels hatred for, fosters harmful designs against, or engages in antagonistic activities against another; an adversary or opponent.

2. an armed foe; an opposing military force: The army attacked the enemy at dawn.

I know I have my moments of being upset with or even at someone, but I have never HATED anyone.  I have been raised that hate is not of God and it was not even considered a word in our vocabulary. I have taught my children the same thing. *still teaching because 3 are still very little*

    I have a friend who is an amazing example to me of what CHRIST-LIKE  looks like. She literally FEEDS HER ENEMIES! No lie!  Whenever someone upsets her or causes her pain, she makes them CUPCAKES and delivers them with a note of "I AM SORRY" for whatever she might of done to upset that person. She doesn't lay blame on them. She doesn't point out where they messed up...*we all know IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO and THERE ISN'T JUST ONE TO BLAME*  but she doesn't require them to apologize or even admit their wrong doing. She just quickly apologizes and trys to set things right to the best of her ability. Some still treat her badly but you know what.... she did her part. She did all she could in her power and she has nothing to worry about on her end. What GREAT PEACE she must feel to do the RIGHT thing.

   

    I personally have a lot to learn because when I am upset I have no desire to make cupcakes and run them out to that person. That is why I am writing this post... another thing for me to work on ;) Writing these thoughts down help me commit to becoming the person I know I need to be :)

    My Mother was a great example to me growing up *still is but talking about growing up right now*  Here are some of her own GOLDEN RULES  to live by...

   1. If you can't say anything nice, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.

    2. KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS

    3. Try to find one good thing in every person and focus on that.

What an amazing person my Mother is! She taught me by example these three golden rules. She lived by them too. I strive to be that mother to my children. I have tried to teach these things to my children as well.

    Looking back on past issues in my life I can see where sometimes I did the right thing and I did endure... and there were times I didn't.  All I can do now, is repent of the past mistakes and try to do it right from this point on. None of us are perfect, this is true... but it shouldn't be our excuse to stop trying or give up on one another.

   

       " Don't judge me because I sin differently than you." 

    

     If we can all look at our differences or upset in that light, *I sin differently than you*  then we would not be so quick to call those that upset us our enemies. We will see them in the light that we too should be seen, as a human doing our best and making mistakes along the way. May we all feed our enemies and hopefully along the way that list of enemies will become less of a list.

IN AWE OF THEE.....

    I have been contemplating a topic for a while about being  in "AWE" of my children and husband.  I know... you might be saying... WHAT? YOUR CHILDREN AND HUSBAND???  So I started with looking up the definition of AWE and here is what I found...
 an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like: in awe of God; in awe of great political figures. 
    Now looking at that definition makes me laugh due to the ending. They have two different beings as examples of AWE-NESS. How on earth do you put a politician and God in the same awe power?? Interesting to me, but its true... people link AWE to all sorts of things, except... in my opinion, what or WHO it should be applied to.  For the record, I AM JUST AS GUILTY!  YEP I AM!  But that is why I am writing today...because I want to really put it in perspective for myself, so that I might make important changes.

   Lets start back 18 years ago, I was married for almost 4 years and Todd and I were going through some difficult times. Our relationship was not where I thought it should be, so we decided to invest in it by buying some marriage videos. *BEST THING WE EVER DID*

    There were 40 something videos or maybe 50, I can't remember... I think we only could afford up to 34 or so.... anyhow.. .the ones we got were amazing. By GARY SMALLEY! *I still have them* In one of these, he taught about HONORING and GIVING RESPECT,  AWE even, to our spouse.  I remember back when Todd and I were not as happy with one another, that was a challenge for us. But we did it and it helped our marriage so much.

   Then when our family grew and we had our hands full... five very small children. We found ourselves struggling being "GOOD" parents and we went to a parenting class through our church.

   Carleen Tanner, an amazing teacher,  has 10 children of her own.  All her children have grown up to be amazing people. They are confident, successful, loving and great leaders in their community and in our church.  Her lessons taught pretty much the same concepts as Gary Smalley's tapes taught us, except she taught to be in AWE of our children. 

I will be honest, I tried doing that for a while, but life happens, old habits come back and you get back into your old ways. *not that I never felt like my children weren't amazing, I just didn't always show it as well*

Then Conference comes... and a speaker talks about our families and how we need to view them. How we need to be IN AWE of them.

SOMEONE PLEASE HIT ME NOW!~ I am not sure about you, but sometimes it takes a lot to get through this thick skull of mine to catch on... or to GET IT. Which leads me back to where I am now... contemplating how I will change my life's habits and show the ones I love how AWE-SOME they are... and be in AWE of them.
    

Its so simple to apply AWE to major leaders/ actors/actresses/ political figures/successful business people/ even the rich and the list goes on....  Giving  AWE  TO ANYONE, OTHER THAN OURSELVES EVEN!

   Why can we not see ourselves in AWE-NESS? We are all children of our Heavenly Father. All given the same abilities to become more and great. We are all created in his own image. We are daughters and sons of a King... and we think the world of PRINCESS DIANE AND HER KIDS... so why can't we see ourselves and our own potential??? Or our loved ones as easily? A question I must too ponder and correct :)

The person I feel immediate AWE towards is Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father. Then the Prophet, his counselors and the apostles, the seventy, all the way down to the Bishop and the leaders in our own ward. But I need to feel and show AWE towards my husband and children.


Let me share some things with you about someone... there is this person I know... this person was born with a cleft lip as a baby. Had numerous procedures done to fix the lip, painful for the infant, scary for any parent to endure. The lip was fixed, not just merely fixed but beautifully done, to where others hardly notice that it was ever an issue. This person grew up and got into two horrible car accidents. At the age of 15, another car hit the side where this person sat, going about 60 miles per hour, this persons head went thru the dashboard, broke the windshield and then he was thrown out of the car,  he walked away with a concussion and cuts all over, but survived... Another time this person fell asleep while driving and hit a power pole, breaking the steering wheel with his chest and  he once again walked away with a broken hand and some bruises.... putting that power pole right through the middle of the car into the passenger seat and broke the power pole in half. ( I think we can agree this person must be pretty special to have survived those two accidents without more injuries or death... to me that is an  AWE  moment) While growing up, this person went to church by himself. No one else in the family were active. (that takes courage and integrity to do that) This person went and serve his country. On a sonar submarine, he experienced many scary moments and brave moments, moments I can't share because he took an oath to keep the works they did quiet. But I can tell you, I appreciate what he did for all of us today! This person has had many opportunities to lie and to go higher in his work, with more pay and privileges but due to his integrity chose to be honest and to stand for what he believed was true and right! ( I am still in awe over some of those decisions because so many others would of jumped for those opportunities at whatever the cost) He has served so willingly and loving in many callings with in our church and on his own in the community. He has offered things he had to those less fortunate. He is always putting others first and their needs. He is one of the hardest working people I know... Oh the things I could share with you about this amazing person. Who I am sure by now you have all guessed was the man I married, Todd. 

    
When you list the things that make a person amazing... from their talents to the things they do... it is easier to put the AWE  before them.

      I could share with you about each of my children. The things they have over come, the challenges they have been thru, the many accomplishments and talents they have but this would  beomce a very long  post! :)  So I will sit and ponder them to myself and hope that maybe you will do the same about your family.

     My lasts thoughts on this topic,  is being in AWE of Jesus Christ my Savior.  The many great things he did while alive. The many great lessons he has taught us and left in our scriptures to ponder, learn from and to live. His sufferings and Atonement that makes it possible for all of us to be with him again. To always be able to find hope, even in our darkest hours.  I am in AWE  of him. I am striving to be able to be in HIS  presence once again... so that I might be able to wipe his feet with my tears of gratitude and love. To be in his loving arms once again and feel his pureness and GREAT AWE-NESS. 

     I am really going to evaluate the people I am in AWE over... and try to show my children and husband as they walk through our front door... WOW... YOUR HOME! HOW BLESSED I AM TO KNOW YOU, TO BE IN YOUR PRESENCE! I AM IN AWE OF YOU, YOUR TALENTS, BEAUTY AND LOVE!  and be ever so thankful for them in my life!!!