12 years ago on June 14th 2000, my first son was born.... :)       Oh how we were so thrilled. We had waited so many years for a son.

As he has grown and made great choices like getting baptised and complete his faith in God...

 I sit here and am in awe over the thought that there will be another priesthood holder in my family. :) What a blessing! As I sat and pondered this, I got really emotional. I am listening to all the people that he is asking to be apart of this special moment and blessing, and my heart ached for a moment... MY FATHER WON'T BE THERE! HE CAN'T ASK MY FATHER!  What a time in our life, a very special and important moment... and my Father won't be there. How my heart ached for a moment... I called my Mom and cried... I know that he will be there in spirit..but how I wish, OH HOW I WISH that he could be here physically. How I  wish I could hear his sweet voice and watch his face as he sees his grandson receive the priesthood.  How proud I know he would be and I am sure is in heaven.

I am so thankful that my son is a worthy young man...with great goals that he has set for himself. He has been such a fun baby, toddler and child.... and now he will be a great young man to enjoy. :) I am excited for his future... I already miss his younger years but so enjoying the here and the now!

I am excited for Sunday, and I know I will be really emotional.  I am so proud of him. I am so thankful to the Lord for him. I am so blessed to have such an amazing son.

Where much is given....much is required.....

        Today.... I feel short handed.  I feel emotionally drained.... and at the same time.... I feel inspired and directed.  Weird I know!  I have all these children. They really do require so much of my time and energy. For me to sit and have a moment to think lately has been impossible. The only way I am able to type right now, is the littlest are napping and my sons are jumping...the big girls are doing something. So for a few minutes I want write down my thoughts... release some feelings and just record it all.
        Having so many different personalities.... each child having different needs and requirements... each child needing disciplining in a different way as well has been a challenge for me.  So much so that I have moments where I feel like I am failing... but as I was discussing with one of my children about true failure, *a teaching moment where I had to listen to my own counsel*  I realized, I haven't given up yet. I haven't stopped trying or giving it my all. So I am not failing them... I just might not always be enough or I might need help.
      I have been relying a lot on my Heavenly Father lately for that help. To be my venting place, to my comforter and to be my guider.  Man today... I came up with two brilliant ideas on how to help bring even more peace and harmony into our home. How to help build relationships and how to add respect to that list. I am hoping at my next family home evening, I can do it.  I haven't quit figured it all out but I have a plan in the process. The fact that while I was sitting and feeling totally lost on what to do or say next... the idea came to me ;) is such a blessing. Just another moment where I see the Lord is still with me and helping me as always. I am really thankful for that! With all that I am thankful!
     
     

  

Butterflies, Unicorns and fairies....

Butterflies.....

Fairies.....

& Unicorns.....  OH MY!

Yes this is a silly start to my post.:) But this is me! I try to keep things light and fluffy in life. I try to cheer up my friends and family with silly things and images that only brings smiles. My life has had plenty of serious moments and hardships, but who wants to be stuck there emotionally? Not me :)

            Today at church I was reminded so spiritually that not everything is butterflies, unicorns, and fairies in life and that IS ok. A new sister got up and shared her testimony about her life struggles. One she deals with is having very painful headaches, so painful that she would rather give birth naturally than to suffer this pain. But she called this pain a reminder of her blessings. She stood and shared many personal things that touched me, but when she talked about her trials  and of the pain she goes through, that it humbles her and she feels it has brought her closer to God, that brought tears to my eyes. I was so impressed with her testimony. How she has this life long trial that will never go away and her attitude of gratitude was powerful. I am thankful for her great example of how to be thankful, positive, so full of Gods countenance, and humble. I am sure its not been easy for her but I am thankful for her spiritual strength. She makes me be even more thankful for my own life's blessings. Another thing she shared, that I want to remember... was, " your either fasting or your starving. You are either doing the motions of a fast or you are fully invested and your scriptures are your meat and potatoes. They fill you and feed you." I loved that! I know that really has nothing to do with the topic of a fluffy life but I don't want to forget that one.
     
        Back to my original thought.... butterflies, unicorns and fairies.... it would be so nice to have the easy life.... "or so we think" where everyone was happy and life is sweet in every way imaginable. But I know that this life is not meant to be full of happiness all the time. If we do not know the bitter we will never appreciate the sweet. If we do not know how far we can be pushed or tested we will never realize our strength. If we do not know the horrible hatred things of the world, then we would not fully appreciate the love and peace that we do have. This life is for experience, growth and learning. The life after this is our reward if we but endure this life well. I feel that this one sister who shared her testimony is enduring well. I am so thankful for her and her strength. Especially her example and her testimony. When life gets hard..... find your unicorns, butterflies and fairies... count your blessings and know that this too shall pass. That what we are given is to better us, for our own good, even if it doesn't make sense to us. That God really does have the upper hand and has you and I in mind at all times. We are never alone. He is with us an his loving angels too. I testify to that. In the name of Jesus Christ, my Savior ... Amen.